I am coming to the last week of my first semester in school. This week is finals. Yesterday, however, I had my last lecture in a class in Anatomy and Physiology. This class’s concluding subject covered death and the transition of life out of the physical body. However, somehow the class took a turn (more than likely, people do not like this subject), and we ended up spending some time talking about adoption. Not quite sure how we got there, but it was up for discussion. Of course, this is a profoundly deep and personal subject to me. Being an adopted child from birth has been both a blessing and yet a curse.
I have spent years silently struggling with this aspect of life and moved through many waves of emotions from this as well. I experienced anger, frustration, blame, shame, abandonment issues, and many others in-between, from being loved unconditionally by my family to being called a “bastard” by classmates at school. So, to say this subject hit a very sore note would be an understatement. One of my classmates stated she had a child and had to put the child up for adoption but has and still is fully engaged in the child’s life and the adoptive parents. At first, I was thoroughly offended by this. I even said to myself, “who in the hell would want that?!!!” But then I realized this was my judgment talking and not what was best for their situation.
It is funny how we all take another person’s situation/story and judge it as our own. The more I thought about this; I realized that I was falling into the trap I was in long ago. My lovely wife Alda Lee Boni talks so much about RoHun and clearing faulty thoughts. Well, abandonment and the subject of adoption are at the core of faulty thoughts that lead me down the road to: “I’m not good enough, or I am not wanted!” As petty as this may seem, it is a real emotion and one I have had to release and transmute many times over. The scars of this ran very deep in me and left an impression on my core and DNA for a very long time. However, I do now realize I AM good enough. I AM an integral part of many people’s lives who love me, and I Love them. These feelings and emotions are ones of the Ego trying to influence me once again into faulty thoughts.
How did I heal this? I accepted! Yes, I accepted. The fact that I feel is the most important point of life. I chose this-God did not choose for me, and my parents did not choose this for me. It was not luck, fate, destiny, or any other fool-hardy thought of tomfoolery. WE CHOOSE OUR Incarnation. Our Souls choose whether we are male/female, whether our eyes are brown, blue, or green. We choose the part of the world we grow up in and who our families are. Yes, we choose at incarnation! As we live our lives, it is for us to discover why our Soul has chosen this as our Path of Life. What lessons are we learning, and who we interreact with to learn is actual Karma! Once you TRULY accept this fact, many faulty thoughts tend to lose their sting. So, I accepted that I chose my life and that I was adopted. After many RoHun sessions of intense work, I realized that I chose this to clear extra ancestral Karma for myself and my many families.
I then worked to clear the ancestral Karma of both sets of parents. For my biological parents, it was about forgiveness. It was about understanding, acceptance, and the ability to love unconditionally regardless of the outcome of a situation. Other than the day I was born, I have never laid eyes on my biological parents. But that is ok. I have forgiven them. Their reasons were their own, and it was for these reasons I am who I am today. For that, I thank them!
Concerning my Real Parents (Yes, I consider my Adopted Parents my Real Parents, for they accepted me, loved me, raised me, and provided for me), it was about clearing. I was clearing our ancestral Karma and all the aspects of habits, faulty thoughts, and generally accepted programmed norms that we all try to remove in a lifetime. Therefore, I feel I have chosen to expedite my progress in this lifetime and elevate my level of awareness, understanding, and frequency in the shortest possible time—a tough thing to accept early on. I was able to wrap my head around it by looking at Joseph Campbell’s viewpoint of the Hero’s journey. We must be jolted from our “normal” path and meet challenges to grow. Even the vile and villainous history of war and pestilence in our world has taught humankind lessons that were very important to our growth as a Race. Based on today’s current events, I would argue that we are currently on such a learning curve. The human race will learn from every challenge placed before them, and so will we as individuals.
However, I think this is the right time to stress that this is NOT a journey you necessarily need to endure alone. Many out there understand and are willing, able, and want to help you overcome such a challenge. As Light Workers and Spiritual Counselors, we want to help you clear out these blockages and attachments of stuck/stagnant energy and allow you to claim your life back again. If you relate to any of this, please feel free to email me or reach out. Self-Love and Self Forgiveness is the key to healing.
In closing, I will leave you all with a poem given to me by my Real Parents many years ago. It is a tiny newspaper clipping of a poem that I laminated and have carried with me for the last 50 years and still keep near me to date.
TO AN ADOPTED CHILD
Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But still miraculously my own.
Never forget for a single minute
You didn’t grow under my heart,
But in it
Author Unknown
so beautifully written. i love ur vulnerability and i love you joe 💖